Cravings and rantings

The effects and natural causes of creativity come from the one and same place as vanity: you want someone to love and validate you. In the long term you just want to hear how good you are. It's never about the words that come out, it's about getting into the minds of people and sticking inside. Living inside your head is just plain painful

When you're a kid your parents tell you you can grow up to be anything you want. That's bullshit. You can try your best to be what you want to be, a doctor, an athlete, rich, successful, whatever. Or you can just cruise on by through life and be whatever comes your way. You think mothers in Africa are saying that to their kids? Probably not. I don't think so. The point is you can be you, whatever version of it might be. So why hide it?

I don't buy into all this "things will be fine" bullshit. Tell that to people who lost fathers, grandfathers, children, who have people fighting in the front lines, who lost homes, rings, possessions in order to save something or someone. Things will not be fine. Things will be different. What you can - and should - say is that we will always fight back. The question is against what - or who?

If you come across a memory of you and me and of what never was then smile like me.

Self-loathing is opium of the writer. And for a guy who just recently got back at writing - not the work crap, not the forced-put-a-bullet-through-my-head-already shit - then that just has to flow. Even if that means going down an old road that eventually will lead to rock bottom.

You want to be in a relationship then choose someone who's willing to fight with you. A relationship isn't love, it's a war. Against all. Yourself, the other person, other people. Let it be someone willing to go down with the ship with you (and on you)

Show me someone who pushes away guilt with joy, sorrow with dancing, brooding with music and I'll show that person my middle finger. Seriously, who can honestly telling me that they don't have a negative thought eating at their brains all the fucking time? Today's people have been replaced with robots with synthetic emotions but real skin. All is temporary, all comes and goes and we're always so certain good things come to an end. Still, people push on to find someone else to unload their problems, to unleash frustration and anger. Being dysfunctional is the new normal, except if you look to step away from all that smoke that people call being socially correct and actually try to be correct to everyone else. Then, at that time and moment, you're the dysfunctional one. The sociopath. The pariah. I fear for the people of tomorrow. Today's robots tomorrow's apathetic children. Wish I could just throw away all the bad gnawing away at my brain. Then maybe I...

In this world of high end computers, fast internet, social networks and internet cookies keeping your privacy is a hard job. Imagine you'd like your life to be your own only to find out you can't do as you please or someone will report you to the internet police and you'll be banned from the brainless forum that is called the world wide web. Then you'd be alone with your thoughts and in the fast-paced, modernized, plastic, shallow world, who would want that?